I Do Not Lie (I guess?)

Um yeah, I made my first post about Smeaton's up by pulling stuff off the internet and saying it was my history as a joke. Turns out, because I showed my grandpa Smeaton, that all 3 mentioned Smeatons are actually my ancestors seriously. My great aunts daughter (woah) has put together our family tree and has come up with hard evidence, birth certificates and the like, all the way past John Smeaton. Although there hasn't been any hard evidence for the connection to Marc Smeaton it has, thus far, been inferred that that he is infact a part of my family tree. Who the eff would have thought that, and yes Percy did indeed come to Canada. Yeah, my family is pratically famous I guess or something.

Life Lesson # 1

It was not long ago that I had the most amazingly eye openning dream. In this dream I wake up and my legs have been bitten by all sorts of bugs. Upon surveying my atmosphere I soon realize that there is a fly sitting on my hand and immediatly we begin to converse. Now this fly talked like a normal human but still I argued that he had bitten me and I was positive that he was the culprate. The fly however begged and pleaded with me insisting that he hadn't bitten me but I stuck to my guns and soon realized that I was talking to a fly and so woke myself up. When I woke up I was astonished to find a spider on my bed and promptly remembered the dream. It was true the fly had not bitten me but instead the witty spider had. Being a clever spider he hid himself before it became light outside so that I would not suspect him. The moral of the story is to not judge your friends, like the fly, because they may indeed be telling the truth while someone else, like the spider, is out to get you. Please take this to heart as you go through your lives today.

Maurice

Travel Log: Maurice
April 7, 2006
Having found his roots in the dense Amazon jungles of Brazil, Maurice pushed forward with new vigor for life. He had discovered that he was part of the noble line of the Dracaena, the most feared and pure line of leafy plants(dun dun dun). It was now his duty to bring peace to between the Dracaena people and their human captors; a struggle that will not undoubtably end until many millenia after he perishes. Skipping right to the present Maurice is in southern africa in attempt to put meaning to the flinging of monkey feces. Although rather ferocious and dangerous creatures maurice has managed to diguise himself as a prune tree and infiltrate the ranks of the monkey society. He came to discover that chimps in particular do tend to throw large ammounts of poo which seems to be a form of bonding, truly fascinating! Maurice would also like to remark that humans breate his feces, making us his eternal slaves. Maurice wishes to proceed north to Cairo, Egypt within the next month and promises to keep us updated on his journey.